Just a little updating

I thought I’d write a little update about what’s been happening in my life. After the lithium debacle things were ok for a few days. Greg went out of town and I thought I could get the house ready for my dad’s visit and relax. Well I got the house ready, but I did not relax. Enter the Zoloft debacle. I guess it’s not uncommon to experience side effects a week or so after starting an SSRI. What I wasn’t expecting was having the worst panic attacks in my life, and that’s saying something. It happened in the evenings. My heart would start to pound and I’d get dizzy and feel anxious, but then the trembling would start. My legs felt like they turned to jello and were shaking so uncontrollably that I could barely walk. I was hyperventilating at this point and was scared I was going to faint. And I was all alone and completely terrified. I was sure I was going to die. I considered calling 911, but thought maybe I should check my blood sugar first. I did and it was fine. Which freaked me out even worse, because now I had no clue what was wrong. My mind wasn’t racing, but my body was inĀ  full on panic which was why I was convinced I was going to die. All I could do was crawl into bed, take a sleeping pill and a double dose of anxiety meds, and pray I didn’t die in my sleep. I’ve never been so scared. Well, obviously I woke up in the morning and felt fine except for being rattled about the night before. I did some research and assured my self that it was just a horrible panic attack and I was going to be fine. But unlike the lithium I didn’t drop my dose. I’d read that it takes time to adjust, so I better just suck it up and get through it. I had a few more really bad attacks in the following days, but I think that taking clonapin in the middle of the day helped stave off a few more. I’m doing ok now, but damn that sucked. Had a good visit with Dad and my stepmom. I even randomly a few days ago decided I needed a kitten. I got a cute little black and white girl I named Emmelia, Emme for short. I’ve never had a kitten and it’s simply amazingly fun! I have learned some lessons in all of this but I’ll get to that in another post.

I just heard tonight that I might have a few new readers out there. Hi Readers!! Please comment and let me know who you are and tell me what you think about all this bipolar madness!

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