Trigger Warning- Literally

*I’m going to briefly mention firearms in this post. I don’t want to trigger anyone so if talking about firearms upsets anyone read no further.*

So I just got back from girls gun camp. That’s not what it was called, but we’re going with it. Like I said in my previous post I was scared half to death. I didn’t want to go right before it came time, but I sucked it up and went anyway. And now I’m back home in one piece. And boy am I glad I went through with it. It was one of the best experiences in my life. I learned lessons that I never even dreamed I’d learn. Not just shooting skills either, real important life lessons.

I had the privilege of spending 8 days with some of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. They were down to earth, strong, and confident. And they were real. There wasn’t one diva or bitchy girl in the entire group. It made for such a pleasant positive atmosphere. I was actually the youngest woman there, so it was pretty cool to spend time chatting with older wiser women. They all had so much to share, but surprisingly I felt like I had a lot to share as well. Aside for learning how to shoot a bunch of firearms better, I learned that I need to love and accept myself for who I am and what I have to offer. No one there cared that I didn’t work or didn’t have a degree. They loved me for me. Why is it that we are our own biggest critics most of the time? If we just take the time to look inside our self and see what others see, we’d probably be surprised. No one judged each other by how we looked, so why am I spending so much energy on my outward appearance. Now part of it is that I love being girlie and I paint my face, toes, fingers and other parts just for fun. But a small part of it is because I think other people…..well shit…. I can’t finish this sentence, because I have no idea what I’m trying to prove to other people. Hmm. Interesting. Regardless, I’ve been looking deep inside myself and seeing the good in me and seeing that I’m funny, loving, kind, generous, and smart. See ya’ll it’s ok to list our good traits. It doesn’t make us cocky. It makes us confident and comfortable with who we are.

Confidence. It’s something that I really thought a lot about last week. There women really exuded an air of confidence. Now I know that everyone has their insecurities, but for the most part they were all so secure. Because of this, there was no bitches, or divas, or other nasty women. Everyone was so nice to each other and supportive and encouraging all week long. When one of us had success, we all cheered for them and praised them. Instead of competing and putting each other down with backhanded comments, we supported each other and praised each other for being so kick ass awesome. REFRESHING!!! I’ve decided these are the kind of people I need to have in my life. Confident, supportive people. People who will raise me up, not tear me down. People who I can learn from and look up to. People with a loving spirit. And in no way were they ever judgmental. For being with a group of all very conservative women, they were some of the most open minded people I’ve met.

I also learned that I need to be more independent. I’m so stinking proud of myself for going through with all of this. When you step outside the box, you never know what you are going to find. I found things I never even dreamed that I would. I found 3 girl friends who I spent the week with. I was alone the first night and an older woman walked in. I asked if she was with the women’s groups and she said yes. We had dinner together that night and every meal after that. The first day we picked up two more ladies. The four of us were inseparable. It was more than I dreamed of. I was just hoping that people didn’t think I was a complete weirdo. But they actually loved me and became the best of friends. Thank you R, M, and M for being truly amazing. I love you lots!

I’ve been truly blessed to have had this week of girl time. It gives me hope that I can have women friends who are like me and will like me for who I am. I need to move forward keeping this attitude and start doing things I’m passionate about. I need to call the lady back from the rape crisis hotline and I need to get myself to a shooting range or course once a week. These are my goals and I plan on sticking to them.

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