this is a memoir, not a fairy tale. this is my story of my battle with bipolar disorder. last night i was wondering why i do this and then i thought of all the memoirs i have read by authors struggling with bipolar disorder. they were raw, they were real, they were messy. but they were the truth. i have always spoken the truth. at least what i believed it to be at the time. some of these entries are pretty screwed up. i realize that now, but then they were exactly how i was feeling. with bipolar disorder you don’t have the same type of symptoms as other illnesses. there are no tests, no hi blood sugar, no sore joints, no high cholesterol, no tumors or growths. but there are symptoms none the less. these entries document my symptoms and my road to find recovery to fix them. these books i read really helped me. they made me feel less alone. they made me feel less crazy, less like i was the only one going through all of this. so maybe this blog may not have been the most positive reading experience for everyone that has read it, but maybe just maybe it will some day make someone feel like they aren’t crazy and aren’t going through this all alone.