there are two options right now. burn the house down and start all over or throw away everything that is looking at me funny or bothering me. which is everything. I’m purging. i have to throw away everything that i don’t need. things i’ve had for 20 years, but have no use. Gone! if i don’t need it and i have it, i don’t need it. (catch that greg? heh.) seriously i feel like i need some kind of cleansing. i feel like i’m suffocating in here and i can’t stand it. why do i need all this stuff? what use does it have? none that’s why it’s gone. stuff that i was holding on to for sentimental reasons that i don’t need to be having sentiment about. gone. some how i threw out the cowboy hat. i have no idea how i did that. but i don’t need to remember that night anymore. i’m over it. old sculptures from my ptsd therapy. the scary monster got thrown very hard into the bad. fuck him! he doesn’t bother me anymore either. i’m kinda tired though. i thought i could do this all night,but its really not all that fun. this has distracted me now. shoot now what?? hmm…..