This is so freaking hard. I can’t stand it much longer. I need greg to be home. I’m going nuts. My self-doubt is killing me. i feel so unworthy of everything and feel like i’m not good enough to be loved or to do anything worthwhile. i’ve been working so hard to be a better person in as many ways as i can handle. having some human comfort right now would be a great help. i keep fantasizing about holding greg’s hand. it’s really been preoccupying me. i just hope we connect when we finally are together again. only 14 more days! i have made it this long. i can certainly make it just a little bit longer. i keep getting anxious. and paranoid and having weird thoughts of doing psychotic things. i guess as long as they stay just thoughts i’ll be ok. just needed to vent tonight i guess. i kind of upset greg earlier and i feel really bad about it. we’ll make it through this i just need to keep the faith.